I don’t always feel like a creative person I’d say that I doubt my abilities at least every other week. Even as I’m in the middle of a creative project I may feel no inspiration whatsoever. When I get into ruts like these, it really sucks. I’m stuck in the desire to create new things, but then I can’t figure out how to execute it. I look to other creative people for guidance, but it tends to make things worse. In my un-creative mood, looking to other people makes me feel even more incompetent. The doubt becomes deafening.
Last week was one of those weeks. I wanted so badly to create something that looked as cool as the stuff I pin on Pinterest, but it just wasn’t happening. For a moment, I let myself get discouraged and listened to the lies that told me I wasn’t really cut out to be a “creative,” but then I decided that five minutes of moping was enough for one day. I turned on some vibey worship music (a mixture of For All Seasons and Liz Vice) and worked even though I wasn’t feelin it.
The first 20 minutes, nothing was happening, so I stopped and took a moment to re-focus. People always ask me how I’m able to come up with more design ideas for my greeting cards, and I always tell them that it’s truly all God. If I was doing this by myself, I would’ve ran out of ideas a loooooooong time ago. I’m constantly asking that He will give me new vision and designs that I can make come to life. Prayer is such a big part of my creative process.
And I’ve realized that when my creativity has hit a brick wall, my mind is not calm enough to wait and see what God has to show me. Once I’ve exhausted all of my emotions, I sit at my desk, breath in the scent of my pineapple candle, close my eyes, and take a deep breath. From that point on, I ask that God will calm my nerves and help me to be able to hear his over the noise of doubt. I ask that he would help me to feel refreshed and that the act of creating things will bring me joy instead of stress. Obviously, the prayers vary, but after this simple routine, I feel better. I may not have inspiration right away, but my mind and soul are at peace.
I’m not saying any of this for people to give me pity, cause I truly am not looking for you to feel sorry for me, I’m just being open. Some days, I just don’t feel creative. But I try to work on projects even when I’m in this type of mood because if I lived by my feelings, nothing would ever get done. I remind myself that I can’t quit just because I’m not having fun. There will be some mundane and lackluster days, but when we decide to push through anyways, that’s when we truly see what we’re dedicated to.
I’m not sure if any of you reading this feel this way at times, whether it be in the realm of creativity or some other aspect of life, but either way, if it’s something you truly care about, don’t give it up. Don’t let discouragement be a stopping point.
Keep it pushin,
Kae
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